I Am Not Lost
by Draco'sLoverr
Summary: Dean is having nightmares. Sam is dead and in hell, Bobby is dead and Castiel is gone. Dean believes he is all alone, and sets out to find a way to save his family, but he will soon realize that some angels can't stay lost forever. At least not his angel. I suck at summaries. This is my first Supernatural fic, set in an alternate season 6. please r&r please dont hate me -hides-


"Sammy! » Dean's voice faded away into the cold air. It was pitch black; Dean could not see nor hear a thing. He had called out the only name he knew. He knew he was dreaming, and he was dreaming of his lost brother.  
Sam had been gone for a year.  
In addition, he had told Dean to go find Lisa and life the life he always wanted.  
However, Lisa passed away a few months after that and all Dean could think about was to get away.

Therefore, he did. He kept on driving and never really stopped. He had also stopped hunting down monsters. He could not handle it. All his good memories were now with Sam and he needed Sam more than anything right now.  
He needed Bobby and Castiel, but they were unreachable, he had tried to contact them in any way possible, nothing had worked, Bobby and Castiel stayed in the same state as Sam. Dead.

With further thought that was not entirely true, he knew a way to contact Castiel. Praying.  
Nevertheless, Dean was far from consciousness. In fact, he was dreaming, and the dream slowly turned into a nightmare.

Once again, he appeared at the crossroads. The Crossroads.  
He watched himself from afar, burying a box in the sand, a box that contained a picture of him, graveyard dirt and a bone from a dead cat.  
The moment he stepped away the crossroads demon appeared, Deans sparkling angry green eyes met the red ones of the creature before him.

"So, are you ready for the deal Dean?" the demon asked looking at Dean with fire in his eyes  
"You know, it's the only way to get Sam back?" The demon pleaded.  
"No!" Dean screamed, but it was too late, no sound came out of him, and he had already nodded before he even knew what he was doing. There was no turning back; he had just done the one thing Sam had told him specifically not to do.

The demon looked deep into Deans eyes and stepped back.  
"Your soul is to drained and damaged"  
Dean's muscles froze when the demon uttered the next sentence  
"You're going to hell, Dean Winchester"

"NO!" Dean woke up with a scream. He tried to make the thoughts go away. The thoughts of not listening to Sam. The thoughts of selling his soul to bring Sam back. He could not. He promised, and Dean Winchester keeps his promises.

He got up from the old motel bed and headed over to the sink. He splashed some cold water in his face trying to regain control of himself. He pulled his sweaty grey t-shirt off and put on a new clean one. He walked over to the fridge and grabbed a cold beer and a bottle of whisky to settle his nerves. Why did this have to be so hard?

Dean did not get many things sorted out before he passed on the kitchen table.  
Finally, he could have 2 hours of dreamless sleep. He had never cherished the dreamless hours of the night more than now, being awake were almost worse than the nightmares. He had to go through day after day after day without his brother and the man he loved.

Dean loved Castiel, he had since the first time he laid eyes upon him, but he kept it hidden, even for himself. When Castiel disappeared, that was when Dean finally realized that he loved him. He had always cared. Always and now, it was too late.

Dean uttered one word before trailing off to unconsciousness once more.  
"Sammy..."

~*x*~

"Help!" Sam opened his eyes again, and tried not to give Lucifer what he wanted. He was being torn apart for the millionth time. He felt his bones break and his muscles being torn to shreds and he could not do a single thing to stop it, if he did it would all start from the beginning. Again.  
Sam was in hell. He had taken Adam with him in the Cage, and Lucifer inside his mind, and both of them kept on torturing him, every second, of every minute, of every day. He did not know how long it had lasted, nor how he would cope. However, he knew that it would never ever stop.

~*x*~

Dean woke up the next morning with a horrible headache and decided to pack up and leave. He packed in silence. Stopped to pay for the night and went down to the parking lot to get his beloved 67' Chevy Impala.

Driving made dean think differently on his life. It was just him, the car and the road. Dean knows he has to keep on going, he could not stop now, there are still monsters that needs to be killed, still people that needs to be saved, and there are always something to do. He had told himself ten folds of times that he had stopped hunting but there were something in him that wanted him to keep on going. He wanted revenge. He wanted someone to take his anger out on. Someone who knew how to get the last remains of his family back.

And he knew exactly where to start. He and Sam had been there a year ago trying to sort things out, but Sam had agreed to being Lucifer's vessel, and Adam, who were supposed to help them were Michael's.  
Dean knew he needed to trap a demon who had had direct contact with Lucifer or Michael to figure out how he could save Sam. Because Sam was not just in Hell, he was dead too. Dean believed he needed more than an angel to resurrect and raise his family from hell.

~*x*~


End file.
